Nomad Capitalist Chapter 6: Love and Family on the Road - Is This Only for Single Young Men?

“Where did your mother go into labor?”

That is how Pete Sisco, an internet business owner and long-time nomad, greeted Henderson on a Skype call from Hanoi. It was his little libertarian calling card. A cheeky way to remind people that their entire identity, taxes, passport privileges, and life trajectory got decided by one random event. Where your mom happened to be when you showed up.

Think about it. Because Henderson’s mother went into labor in Cleveland, Ohio, he inherited American citizenship. Which means lifetime tax obligations, rules about who he can do business with, and a passport that opens certain doors while slamming others shut. Someone born on the same day in Colombo, Sri Lanka got a completely different set of rules. None of them asked for any of it.

This chapter tackles the big question people always throw at nomads: what about relationships? What about kids? Is this just a young single man’s game?

Henderson says no. And after reading this chapter, I think he makes a solid case.

Birth Tourism Is a Real Strategy

Here is something I did not know before reading this book. Thirty-one countries grant instant citizenship to anyone born on their soil. Most of them are in the Americas. The US and Canada are the obvious ones. But for people trying to leave high-tax western countries, the other 29 are more interesting.

The idea is simple. If you are planning to have children anyway, why not give birth in a country that will hand your child a second passport at birth? Some countries will even fast-track your own citizenship because you gave birth to one of their new citizens.

Henderson gives the example of Mexico. A woman at one of his conferences shared her experience giving birth in Mexico City. Her doctor spent real time with her at every visit. The care was better than what she later received in the US. They caught a serious complication that might have been missed elsewhere. And the total cost, without insurance, was less than what she later paid just toward her deductible for a second child born in the States.

Her baby was born a Mexican citizen. And because she was a permanent resident who gave birth to a Mexican national, she qualified for Mexican citizenship herself. Two passports from one birth. That is efficient.

Brazil is another option Henderson mentions. Any child born on Brazilian soil is instantly Brazilian. The hospitals in Sao Paulo are world-class. And here is a quirky detail: Brazil has a standing policy that they will not extradite native-born Brazilians. Henderson jokes that yes, he does get questions from people about this. He suggests reevaluating your life choices if extradition policy is your top priority in choosing a birth country.

I grew up in the USSR. Nobody thought about birth tourism. You were born where you were born, and that was that. The idea that you can strategically choose where your children enter the world to give them more options is fascinating to me. It is not about gaming the system. It is about giving your kids a head start in a world where a passport is basically your operating system.

World Schooling: You Do Not Have to Go Back

Henderson tells a great story about Patrick, a young Australian businessman saving $300,000 a year in taxes by living abroad. But Patrick was planning to move back to Australia in five or six years because he wanted to get married and have kids who would “need to go to school.”

Henderson pushed back. Is Australia the only place kids can go to school? Is it the best education you can give your children?

Patrick had never thought about it. He just assumed that having kids meant going back. The same way he once assumed running a business meant staying in Australia. Until his tax bill made him reconsider.

This is what Henderson calls world schooling. Instead of putting your kids in a traditional school in one country, you educate them through a combination of travel, homeschooling, local schools in different countries, and real-world experience.

His argument is interesting. A child who grows up in multiple countries, speaks several languages, understands different cultures, and has multiple citizenships will be better prepared for the modern economy than a child who sat in the same classroom for twelve years. The old model of school, university, career, retirement was designed for a different world. Today, employers care about skills and results, not which piece of paper hangs on your wall.

I spent years in traditional education. Professor, then IT. And I have to say, Henderson has a point. The most valuable skills I use daily, problem solving, cross-cultural communication, adapting to new environments, none of them came from a classroom. They came from life experience. A kid selling gum on the streets of Nicaragua will learn more about entrepreneurship than a college freshman in a lecture hall.

But here is the key Henderson emphasizes. You need to be on the same page with your partner. This is not a decision you make alone.

Dating as a Nomad

Henderson is surprisingly open about his dating life in this chapter. He admits he debated whether to include this section at all. Some people told him not to. But relationships matter, and pretending they do not exist in the nomad world would be dishonest.

His main point: traveling expands your dating pool, and that is a good thing. But not in the way some people think.

He is blunt about the guys who go to places like the Philippines with the goal of sleeping with a new girl every day for a month. He compares this to people who email him about the cheapest, fastest citizenship program without thinking about what they actually need. It is a quick answer to a bigger problem.

The real benefit of nomad dating is finding someone who actually fits you. Henderson shares that when he lived in Phoenix, he could never connect with people there. He thought something was wrong with him. Then he started meeting people from other cultures and realized it was not him. It was the fit. The things that made him odd in Arizona made him interesting in Europe and Asia.

He tells the story of David, a smart and successful guy who could not find a partner in his American city full of government workers and university professors who looked down on entrepreneurs. Henderson’s advice: go somewhere else. The world is a bigger sample size than your hometown.

I relate to this. Growing up in ex-USSR, I always felt a bit out of place even in my own country after working internationally for years. The first time I met people from completely different cultures who shared my values and worldview, it was eye-opening. You realize the problem was never you. It was the pond you were swimming in.

Henderson eventually met his wife (Mrs. H) on Tinder. He was in Kuala Lumpur, she was in Moscow. When they realized there was something real there, he flew 15 hours to meet her in Georgia where she was visiting family. That is commitment. And it only works when you have the freedom to drop everything and go.

The Four C’s of Nomad Relationships

Henderson and his wife boil their relationship advice down to four principles. Communicate, Compromise, Cultivate, and Choose.

Communicate. This is obvious for any relationship, but critical for nomads. You are building a life together that has no script. No one is telling you where to live next year. You have to talk about it constantly.

Compromise. Mrs. H was a dentist in Russia. Not the most portable profession. She gave up her career to try the nomad life and found new pursuits, including photography. But Henderson compromises too. He loves Serbia, she does not. She loves Georgia, he is less excited about it. They found common ground in Malaysia and Colombia.

Cultivate. Create an atmosphere where your relationship can grow. Henderson talks about how their opinion of a country changed dramatically based on their living conditions. A rainy week in a boring hotel in Bogota made them think they hated Colombia. Then they renovated their own home there, visited during better weather, and fell in love with the place. The country did not change. Their experience of it did.

Choose. People will tell you that the nomad life is impossible with a partner or children. Henderson says choose to prove them wrong. If you want both, you can have both. But you have to choose it actively and put in the work.

Finding Friends and Community

The last section of this chapter comes partly from Mrs. H herself. She is apparently the social engine of their partnership.

Her advice is practical. Join Facebook groups for expats from your country in whatever city you are in. Use Instagram hashtags to find people. Try apps like HelloTalk for language exchange partners. Use InterNations for expat networking.

For meeting locals, she suggests staying in one place longer. Three months minimum. Tell people you just moved there. Be brave enough to approach strangers. And look for expats from your country who already have local friends. Their local friends are more likely to be open to foreigners.

The hardest part, she says, is dealing with cultural differences. Westerners come from individualistic cultures. Easterners from collectivist ones. Americans complain about bad service in Eastern Europe because they expect individual attention. In collectivist cultures, nobody blames the individual. The chef made bad food? Maybe it is not his fault. Everyone is in it together.

I grew up in a collectivist culture. I can confirm this is real. The mindset difference is huge. And Mrs. H is right. Understanding why people think differently goes a long way. Read their literature. Watch their films. Show effort to understand before judging.

Key Takeaway

The nomad lifestyle does not have an expiration date stamped on it. You do not have to go home when you turn thirty, get married, or have kids. In fact, Henderson argues that staying in the game gives your family more options, not fewer.

Birth tourism can give your children extra passports. World schooling can prepare them for a globalized economy better than any traditional classroom. Dating internationally can help you find someone who actually fits you instead of settling for whoever is nearby. And building a committed relationship as a nomad is possible if both partners choose to make it work.

The biggest myth Henderson destroys in this chapter is that freedom and family are opposites. They are not. You just have to be intentional about building both at the same time.

Book: Nomad Capitalist by Andrew Henderson | ISBN: 9798461831486

Previous: Chapter 5 Part 2 - The Real Cost of Giving Up Your Passport Next: Chapter 7 - Nomad Healthcare

Part of the Nomad Capitalist series